When your 6 year old offers to pay for the mistake he made with his lunch account, is that when you know you are doing a good job or maybe sometimes take things a little far? It went down like this:
2 days ago:
Note comes home in the folder from school saying Jack's lunch account balance is running low. I also received an email from the online payment system informing me of the low balance. I think to myself, that's odd, he started out the school year with enough money for a month of lunches and he has been taking home lunch 2 times a week.
Yesterday, at the bus stop:
Eash: I think there must be a mistake with Aravind's lunch account, I got the notice home from school saying his account was low and I checked and he has been being charged for breakfast.
Me: Really, that's weird I got the notice too and I know I sent enough money for a month of lunches and Jack has been taking home lunch a few times a week.
Eash: Well Aravind did say he had breakfast a few times with Jack at school in the morning.
Me: Oh Really... (light bulbs and flashes going off in my head - OMG my son is the breakfast buying ring leader)
At this point we reach the part of the walk home where we separate & Jack went with Aravind to play at his house. I get home and log into the online payment system and OMG there are charges for 12 breakfasts on his account. Instantly I think there must be a mistake and almost pick up the phone to call the school, instead I hastily draft an email to his teacher to ask if she keeps records of who is taking lunch on what days and if she has a way of knowing if he really ate breakfast. Then I take a breath, re-read the email and discard it. That would have been one
crazy-mom-in-a-tail-spin sounding email if I would have sent it. Decide the best course of action is to ask Jack about it when I pick him up.
An hour later, walking through the park on the way home:
Me: Jack I have something to talk to you about and I want you to be honest with me.
Jack: (very sullen sounding) OK
Me: Jack, do you have something to tell me about your lunch account? And keep in mind I can log in and look at what you are buying.
Jack: I have been getting breakfast at school.
Me: (OMG! he was just honest with me - OMG!) Jack, you do know how your father and I feel about that right?
Jack: (even more sullen if possible - well this is Seattle, but it was a very sunny day) Big sigh, Yes.
Me: Why are you getting breakfast at school?
Jack: Because they have bagels with ham and melty cheese and they are really good Mom.
Me: Is this why you haven't been finishing your breakfast at home before the bus?
Jack: Yeah, and I'm just not hungry that early, but I get hungry when I get to school.
Me: What do you think we should do about this?
Jack: I think I should pay you back for the breakfasts.
Me: (Not sure what to say & a little confused as this whole conversation took place without any screaming or eye rolling & OMG! he just offered to pay for his lunch, my heart swells with joy and I just want to hug him, but keep up the bad cop act) Well for now you are just going to have to tell your dad about it when he gets home tonight.
Jack: (barely an audible whisper, head hanging down) OK
I guess I am a little concerned that he kept this from us for 12 days (OMG 12 days!) and was smart enough to just omit that from his daily conversations with us, I ask him what he eats for lunch everyday. Also he knew that we didn't want him eating breakfast at school and was doing it everyday for 12 days (OMG! 12 days!). Ahh! I know it's just breakfast, but it could also *just* be something else. The issue is that we have a very smart 6 year old on our hands that may possibly have learned something he shouldn't have learned for awhile. On the other hand, here is a 6 year old little boy that when confronted thought he should pay for the mistake with his own money. Are we too hard on him? I don't know, I do know it is a fine line between being just right and being too hard.
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3 comments:
Who can resist a melty cheesey bagel? Ahh he is turning into a little adult making his own choices especially about breakfast.
You know at least Jack isn't like my nephew whom just got in trouble for mooning his 1st grade class. Yes.. Mooning..
Well, that puts it all in perspective for me, thanks.
i think it's wonderful he's being honest with you. why don't you "reward" that behavior by not making him pay for them out of his own pocket (a little harsh...? maybe...?) and let him know that you're very pleased with him that we was honest. and that he always just needs to be honest with you guys. why are you upset with him eating there? not healthy? too expensive to pay for both meals a week? what if once a week you made that for breakfast before school? (and make it a healthier version whole wheat bagel etc etc) i'm thinking he's just relishing the social time of being around other kids @ breakfast. school food is good but it's not THAT good..
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