dissapointments and discoveries

last week was the first week during this program where i didn't loose weight, i'm talking nada, not even an ounce. i weigh the exact same as i did the previous week. this was a shock to the system, i was pretty disappointed, i had built it up in my head that this, the week of my birthday, would be the week that i got there. the week i met my goal and that i would finally after all these years be under 200lbs. nope not this week. i was devastated, i had put in the work - extra work even and nope still didn't make it.

this is what i discovered though, i came home, i cried - i mean sobbing crying. then there was this little voice on the inside of my head that kept telling me that i could do this, i am doing this and this is the time to re-focus and push harder. previously if something this devastating would have happened i would have given up, i would have wanted to quit, i would have eaten whatever i wanted to and maybe i would have even convinced myself that this is all the weight my body wants to loose. but not this time. i decided that the weight non-loss was not going to get me down. i ate just like it was any other normal day * i did not feed the feelings!! i got my steps in for the day and sure i was a little sad but i learned that i am stronger then i have ever been and realized that someday in the not so distant future i am going to get to where i want to be. for now i will take being able to do 15 push ups as an accomplishment for the week - even if they are girly style on my knees.